November 2009

So for about a month, I struggled with trusting my future to God. I didn't know if I would still be teaching the next year or not. All I knew was that I had to figure out how to trust God completely with my future. Then, on Wednesday, November 4 I went with the youth group to see Hillsong United's "We're All in This Together" movie. The movie is a documentary of their tour around the world and the injustice and unfairness that goes on in so many places. They advocated for justice, compassion, and mercy for these people and children that they met along the way. The movie was thought-provoking and inspiring. Towards the end of the movie, an idea straight from God popped into my head. I should go serve in the mission field at least for a short time. Now, my interpretation of this was that I should use that idea as a back-up plan for in case I lost my job. This was me not trusting in God to provide for ALL my needs, but it would take about 4 months for me to open my eyes to that. For now, I knew what I would do if I did lose my job so my mind was at ease for at least a short period of time.

October 2009: The "Start"

Back in October of 2009, I got a shock. I found out that my job was not as secure as I had assumed. There was a chance that I would have to be let go at the end of the year. This was, to say the least, a very scary idea. So I started to pray. I prayed that God would take care of things.

Now, anyone who knows me well knows that I struggle with trusting others: one of those side effects of being a child of divorce I'm afraid. So, of course, when a person is struggling to trust God, what does He do? Put you in a situation where you have no other choice BUT to follow Him. And that's where I found myself last October- I had no other option except to trust that God had everything under His control because I quickly came to the realization that I was in control of nothing when it came to my future.

Scary, but a lesson I needed to learn. And learn it I have since that scary day in October.